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19 July 2010 @ 01:12 pm
supernatural; sam/dean  
Title: Turn Me Inside Out
Originally Written: June 14, 2010
Inspiration/Prompt: 08 - Stay; ayearinwriting
Genre: Romance, subtle angst
Rating: PG

Warning: Spoilers for third season.


It was within his last few months. At the end, he’d be dragged down to the pit. Whether he would go willingly or kicking and screaming was still up in the air. Of course, he didn’t want to go to hell but somewhere in the back of his head, he still hadn’t made up his mind.

“Dean.” There was a snap of fingers and a large, outstretched hand before him.

“Right.” Digging through his pocket, he fished out a couple twenties and slapped them down to the awaiting fingers.

As Sam shifted to get out, Dean quickly added, “Hey Grab me a chocolate bar.”

The younger made no indication of hearing him but Dean knew better.

Slumping into the seat, he took a deep breath. His eyes traveled up to the rear view mirror. He watched as Sammy popped the latch and slid in the pump. There was a slow, peaceful hum about the Impala as the tank started to fill. A quiet happiness filled Dean’s veins and he let his eyes fall shut.

His imagination pulled him back to view the sight outside his car.

A grungy, back road gas station with not a hint of traffic about. It was warm, dry and dusty. His not-so-little Sammy standing awkwardly around, watching the numbers on the dial spun up. Dean himself, resting in the front, taking in the nostalgic scent of warm leather.

Dean managed to swallow the lump forming in his throat before it could reach his eyes. Running a hand over his face, he took in a shaky breath.

Damn.

Glancing back up to the rearview mirror, he noted Sam’s absence and lack of hum from the pump. He was paying already. How long had he been daydreaming?

His gaze crawled over Sam’s form before tracing the design of his dashboard.

He just ... he just wanted to stay here.

In this seat. On these roads. With Sammy sitting next to him. Always. Till natural death take both of them.

Was such a simple request really that difficult to honor?

They didn’t even have to live that long. Hell, they could pass in their forties for all Dean cared. It wouldn’t matter because he’d go first, followed by Sam. There would be no demons, no ghosts, no murder or martyrdom. Just sickness. Just growing old. No reason to become evil or go anywhere bad.

Just .... peace. A situation where Sam wouldn’t have to panic and where Dean could sleep without worrying about wasting time. No more personal sacrifice.

“Hey Dean, you alright?” His shoulder was given a firm squeeze. “Dean ”

“What?” His voice came out scratchy before he opened the eyes he never realized had closed. He sniffed and looked over to Sam who was currently dripping with worry. “... You get my chocolate bar?”

There was a pause within the car; just a breath. Sammy then reached forward and brushed his palm across his cheek. It was only then that he noticed.

Batting the hand away, Dean ran his wrist across his face.

“Are-“

“Sammy.” Dean interrupted, giving his skin one more swipe. “Give me the courtesy of not asking.” He knew that would only set fire to the man’s curiosity but ...

He just .... he couldn’t possibly let Sam in on that he’d been wishing they could grow old together; like a normal couple. They were so far from a normal couple.

An awkward silence.

Finally, Sam buckled up. “I am going to find a way, Dean.”

Taking a deep breath, he reached for the keys. “I know, Sammy.” The engine roared to life. ‘I know.

END
Click here for Master Post


Thank you so much for reading through this.
Please review. Constructive criticism encouraged.
 
 
 
tabaqui: s&dimpalabylucky_penny01tabaqui on July 19th, 2010 05:05 pm (UTC)
*sniffle*

That was the worst year *ever*, for us and them both.
*sniffle*
Emcy: don't be a baby♪petiteloutre on July 19th, 2010 10:18 pm (UTC)
So true *sobs* Thank you for reviewing~
jjinmo_356jjinmo_356 on July 19th, 2010 09:14 pm (UTC)
I like these moments alone with Dean when he lets himself go and feels what he is feeling. It just shows us the real Dean and I love that Sam knows just who Dean is.
Emcy: just because♪petiteloutre on July 19th, 2010 10:21 pm (UTC)
I agree with that statement 100%; I'm glad to hear that I traveled along the right route with this one. Thanks for reviewing.